Today when what I want to explore with you is the the process of forgiving and letting go that we find really helps a lot of our hypnosis clients I know that you are an expert in the the forgiveness or Ho Opono Pono process which is comes from Hawaiian spirituality and you have ah an audio recording of it which is very beautiful and so today it would be great for us to have a conversation about who would benefit from it and and. What and it involves so that people have some idea what to expect? Um, obviously we all need to experience this It's something that we process subconsciously and emotionally and through our senses so understanding. It isn't going to change it but I thought it would be helpful for people to just know it's an option and have. Um, idea of what it's all about. So yeah, and maybe you can start by telling us how you first discovered forgiveness and and how it helped you personally that would be a great thing to.
Oh wow. So ah, my husband and I studied Huna which is the ancient Hawaiian belief system and for 6 years like in Hawaii and New Zealand and Ho O'Pono Pono was one of the. Just like amazing techniques. We brought back? Um, like my vert. Okay opono pono is out there like everywhere you know you can Google it you can find it but my particular style comes from both of our Christian background and it seemed like. Um, I mean it's a forgiveness process and it's about forgiving all the people in your life that you feel have messed with you. So um, whether it's through childhood or adulthood. It doesn't matter and we needed to bring in our faith. And and I think that's where it hits a lot of people in that you know we we believe we have a forgiving god so we shifted it into adding our beliefs in our system of belief and making it so hold upon upon which is still a deep and lasting forgiveness process. For me, it's been really profound and even like using it all the time like have a bad day you go inside and you ho o pono pono whatever was bad or whoever I crossed your path that maybe ticked you off or hurt your feelings and yeah, like you don't have to carry that stuff forward. And and I I like to kind of add Jim's story because um Jim has always been very spiritual very spiritual and um, people don't realize that because you know he's a big brawny guy. You know all tough and. Gun Totin Big tough guy. You know so people don't realize how really spiritual he is but this is when it became so profound and this story is actually on the recording is when his father passed away now his father was very very abusive verbally physically he was a big jerk. And um, so at his grave site were Jim's 2 older sisters from another mother who he didn't even know existed until he was like 23 and his his younger sister his younger brother and his mom now all of them knew him as extremely abusive. And so we're at his grave site and they wanted people to say something and Jim started because he was the oldest son and he said dad I love you I forgive you please forgive me and.
Sound like it was an audible sound of everybody going what you know like how what what could he be forgiving. You know what could his father be forgiving Jim for you know and um, after that moment when everybody is like what. Jim said it again and he said it so grounded and so strong he said dad I love you I forgive you please forgive me and it was like this huge tension and huge anger and resentment. Just lifted. It was it was a physical feeling of forgiveness passing and that was when I knew I had to make the recording I knew I had to make it so that everybody could experience the profoundness of that because I had just I had just begun to do it as a regular practice. You know like. Okay I can forgive this person. Oh yeah I can I think of something in my past I can forgive that and I was doing it just regularly kind of easily that moment though was really profound. So that's how it became what it became.
Wow And that's a great story and and there there are actually a few themes in what you just shared that I want to go over with for people The first of which is that sometimes people believe that forgiving means excusing what the other person did or or themselves for what they did and so they.
Hold on for that reason and they end up if they were hurt by somebody else. They end up hurting themselves over and over and over and if they hurt they hurt somebody. They also end up hurting themselves over and over and over yeah and so so to really make that distinction between.
Yeah, the endless cycle right? yeah.
Um, you can forgive and let go it doesn't mean it excuses What happened it means you're freeing yourself so you don't to be trapped by it anymore. You don't have to keep hurting.
Absolutely so think about this if if you're holding onto anger to something that happened years ago, you're not hurting that person like holding onto that Anger doesn't do anything to them or for them. It Only hurts you inside. So Once you. Do that forgiveness process it if Ah, even even if you're only forgiving yourself or holding on to Anger. It's big
When you forgive that person and you let go. It's it's a virtual cutting of the cords you know, um, the in Hawaii they call them the aca cords aca sticky and throughout. Throughout your life. Everyone you come into contact with creates that sticky connection. It's ah it's an occa chord and um, once you cut the connection you get your own energy back. You get your own belief and your own feelings back. So it's very very profound. So the very very first time I did this very first time I was actually forgiving my mom in her old age. She became very manipulative and I was just forgiving that and almost instantly I mean because people will feel that connection. And almost instantly when I was done she called so you then can reconnect. You know people who you want to reconnect with it's actually the energy of the world will just bring them back to you so 1 time four in the morning I Jim and I had had an argument. And I was laying in bed and I was doing boono and I cut the cord between him and I and in his sleep he reached over and touched me and I'm like okay I moved his hand I put it back and I did it again because I wanted it to be real clean and clear and he did it again. As soon as I cut the cord he touched me again. And I'm like okay I said honey I'm doing ho o pono pono ho opono pono and he goes oh okay, he rolled over the other way and then I could complete the process and then was then I put my hand on him. So it's really interesting the way the energy of it works and you can feel that energy of it.
Yeah, so you're you're cutting the cord not with the person with the bad energy or the the anger or resentment or it like all the the negative stuff is what you're cutting a cord with you can still be totally connected with the person themselves.
Kind of cool.
Yes, Absolutely yeah, and and energetically they reconnect the next minute you think about them. So If you're if you're disconnecting a negative energy. You almost don't think about that person. It's almost gone if if you're disconnecting to someone that you really care About. It's almost instantly reconnected because you'll think of them and you'll think of them with love instead of Anger. So It's It's quite so cool.
Yeah, yeah, awesome. so so 1 thing I wanted to explore with you. A little bit is I know you mentioned that for you, you integrated your Christian faith into this.
That's all I can say.
Um, where I love. It's very multicultural and many people either aren't connected to a specific faith or they don't believe in God or they're they're just of a different faith some of them have moved here and been refugees from countries that were torn apart because of religion and so to them they don't want to go there.
And so one of the things that I've developed a way of teaching people is that this is Spiritual. It's beyond a specific religion or rules or anything human created This is just your connection with something bigger than you. So Whatever you believe in sometimes it's when people feel connected with nature or when they're doing something creative like art or music or when when they're loving a person so finding a way for people to feel that connection and and interpret this in in.
Yes, yes I think.
The way that's useful for them I think is a really important point.
Absolutely and and I'll tell you um my faith doesn't allow me to judge anyone else's faith. You know my faith says you know you believe how you believe and god has many different names and I think the way that I address that in the recording is. Um, some people call it the god light some people call it the light of the universe and I don't even care what you call it just it's a whole and healing light coming from above so like that's how I that's like the little bit of Christian I put in there is the godlight. But. I like I try to like downplay that because it is for everyone and and like I said my my religion doesn't allow me to judge. Anyone's like I don't even know who's right until I get to heaven and that's a long time away I hope.
And we we could look at it more as a metaphor like when Jesus came on the scene and he introduced this this idea of Grace right? that people could be washed clean of their sins and recognizing that people sin and it's it's.
Very unhealthy and and harmful for them to hold on to that for their whole life. So it's a way to to be able to function in a healthier way and that it's just an example of how to do that. But you can do that in whatever way makes sense move or you.
yeah yeah I think um, but like you said we have we're multicultural too. You know I'm in Southern California and I like I I have never had anybody say they disagreed with what was said in there. So it's very.
Yeah, yeah, and it's important to frame it right I have had people disagree with that and yeah and you know I'm Jewish. So for me I've learned more about Christianity and other religions. But that's different from.
Feeling connected to it right? or in rapport with it. So so I think that just exploring it at that level helps people generalize it and make it their own in a way that feels familiar.
Absolutely yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly and I and I think they can I think I think I mean I get letters from all over the nation thanking me for that specific recording. So. Ah, must be doing something right in it.
Wow! Oh for sure, it's beautiful and there's so many great things and I think it's really good practice for people to find a way to connect with something. It's so to find a way to agree and make it fit you Even if not everything is a fit.
Yeah, ah you know I wanted to touch on something you said earlier about um ah when we're talking about carrying it forward in energy like um Anger holding anger in your body creates high blood pressure Heart problems. Like there's a dozen things we could name that Anger is bad for the body sadness simply Depression. You know hurt again depression or sadness. Um fear Fear holds an anger in your body holds like ah ah energy in your body. So. Upon up upon any of those things is really empowering to the person doing it. It's also empowering to the people out there in the world that you're forgiving and I don't care if it's like the person who cut you off on the freeway like pull upon up hold of that too. You don't need to stay angry and.
And I had an interesting experience of of almost generational anger this last weekend where um one and these were adult women in their sixty s and 2 said something. Not positive about the other one's kid and then his grandkid like it went it went real sideways and but the woman who heard that and who it it was addressed to was angry and and I said to her listen here's all you all you need to do is say to her. You said some things that were off base. I think I deserve an apology and that would have been fine but she didn't she started talking to other people about it and being angry now that triggered this person to be angry at her sister and this person to be angry and this it was like amazing watching that happen. And I mean end result the woman who opened her mouth in the first place gave flowers and candy to the other woman to apologize when she found out. She'd said something off base and I like I so wanted to do a whole group because anger spreads like that and. We are seeing that in our society so big today that people just need to forgive even if it's the idea of you know the ideal.
And some yeah some people are so used to like the outrage right? The anger the outrage. It's drama. It's a story they can go on a rant to people and so.
Um, people That's how they connect with others and and they they don't realize they're doing it but they might get entertainment value out of it. They might get some sense of adventure out of it because it gets you going and maybe they're not having some adventure in a healthy way in their life. So they're expressing it that way where they're.
That Yeah, that's probably isn't everywhere. It's everywhere.
Connecting Yeah, they're connecting with other people like other people relate to their angers so they they find a way to get in rapport that way. So sometimes people hold on to it for those reasons and they they once they forgive and let go they they have to.
Rejig their life because all of a sudden they have to discover what to talk about or how to connect with people in a new way.
Yeah, yeah, and and I hate to say it but you can easily reinstall anger by going over that story that story that you created out of your perception and remember perception is projection like what we see in someone else. Really only bothers us is there's a piece of us for which that is True. So yeah.
Right? Yeah, yeah, so talk a little bit about the kinds of situations that people would benefit from for doing this like yeah I know you mentioned some examples but when we have. Clients come to see us our students come to train in Hypnosis. There are a number of things that I've seen it really help with um and so share a little bit more about the.
Well I I always use it when couples come in, you know couples certainly don't need to hold on to anger for what happened ten years ago or some even 20 years they've held resentment towards something that happened twenty years ago so couples is is a big one that I use that with um I think I tend to use it for everyone but I also use it at the end of every training that I do in case, somebody had something stirred up in them that that they recalled or that that. Got triggered whatever triggered is a big word in society today. So I would use it for weight loss clients who are holding on you know oh I'll tell you story I had a client who was feeling that anger for a lifetime you know and it was a weight loss client. And so I decided to do po with her specifically to really say anger on all the stuff that she was angry about and she called me a week later she goes you know Anger's pretty heavy and I'm like yeah you know you carry that burden on your shoulder. She goes no really I lost £11 after I gave up anger I'm like cool. £11 of anger. That's a lot of anger to carry around for a lifetime. Yeah so um, I I have also used it with smoking people who are concerned about stress or worry. Um, or.
You have no care.
People were stressed and worried and I'm I'm using it a lot now in time because of the the angst angst is the only word I can think of because it's kind of a combination of anger, suffering, guilt. It's it's a European word we don't really have an english word that matches angst. So. People come in and and society now or because of Facebook they got triggered or because of some kind of social media or some kind of mask mandate or all the crazy things that people are getting mad about like they'll come in for stress. So come in for stress at work and upon upon tends to change all of the future like if you just can't hang on to the anger of the past. How can you still be angry about the future then you're just creating it and that's kind of a sin.
Um, it helps them learn how to it. It helps them learn how to frame life in a different way or even if the emotions come up which they will that they can let them they can move through them instead of holding on so there's ah, it's more about.
That's going to just run.
flow and letting go. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it it is it and the kind of the way it is in the courting it pretty much encompasses everybody you know it starts with I think it starts with parents and it goes to extended family or. Relationships or past relationships or exes and I think I include like ex bosses or coworkers like there's so much in there that like it's everything and everyone.