Updated: May 8, 2022
Many people struggle with how anger affects their relationships, success and self-worth. Hypnosis can help.
In this episode you will learn:
Ideas for moving through anger and other emotions skillfully.
Ways to choose your level of emotional intensity so that it fits your real life outcome.
How learning self-acceptance can help you surrender out of anger.
Hello everybody I'm Robbie Spier Miller, your host for the hypnosis show podcast. Today we are going to explore the topic of how hypnosis can help people manage anger. Many people struggle with how anger affects their relationships, success and self-worth.In this episode you will learn: Ideas for moving through anger and other emotions skillfully. Ways to choose your level of emotional intensity so that it fits your real life outcome, and how learning self-acceptance can help you surrender out of anger.
Joshua Kirnie will be joining us. He has dedicated most of his life to helping people improve their own lives. He is a veteran discharged honourably from the United States Marine Corps. He has been the owner of 3 hypnosis clinics, and is currently the director of Power and Light Hypnosis in Kansas City, Missouri. Josh is also a Master Hypnotist Society Trainer.
We're welcoming Joshua Kernie. He's a hypnotist and part of the Master Hypnotist Society, he's the director of Alternative Hypnosis in Syracuse, New York, Power and Light Hypnosis in Kansas City, and he's also the former director of North Country Hypnosis also in New York state. Welcome Josh! Start by sharing with what your personal experience has been in terms of having you know, maybe some.
Thank you for having me Robbie I'm honored. I'm glad to be 1 of your guests. Thank you.
Extreme reactions to life or or challenges with anger and how hypnosis that helped you grow through that.
So this just popped into my mind I I can't wait to share about anger and and how it it has kind of a double-edged sword. Most people would think that it's just a negative emotion but it actually is an indicator for many things that's happening in the moment with somebody when they're in front of you. And it actually should be celebrated and and for that reason only right? So before we go on I was thinking about this in the car on the way over to the office today I really want to to approach something that I hear a lot. Um the flip side coin of what I'm going to say today. The flip of the flip side of the coin right? so. In extreme or certain circumstances when it's appropriate and it's rare. You can use negative emotion to push people into a new strategy if. That's the only viable solution you can find in the moment right? and you know we're under certain time constraints sometimes so. It can be rarely used to push people to motivate them into a strategy that's new. A new behavior generally speaking. You don't want to be running away from anything and into something else because you know how that ends. But if it's necessary and somebody's in an extreme circumstance. You want to be as flexible as possible. That being said I kind of want to move that portion of everything to the side so we don't need to discuss it anymore and have people focus on something that's really important here in the fact that you don't really need anger but it is something that you've been trained to do so. The way I was taught when I first entered the industry was that anger is a preemptive strike against fear and that's why it's such a good indicator of the negative spots that people can be in in the moment. So um, as from our standpoint where we sit and we're dealing with somebody who's going through something that they want to change or they have a goal that they want to achieve. Right? They have ah a plan of where they want to be they want to get out of and a certain ah type of pain when they show us anger. It's actually a good thing because then we know what? what track we're on we we have an idea we have like a thermometer. We know what's going on in front of us. That's the way I see it. But frankly, you know living with anger is. Is really destructive as a long-term solution to anything and you know in 1996 the American Medical Association did the study on negative emotions and how they affect physical health right? And what they really were focused on was depression and guilt. But they also ran through fear and anger and. There's a whole chart now. That's available to us on how those things can affect the physical body. So it's true that it's not only harming you emotionally but anger can harm people physically as well now my personal experience with anger um is pretty vast because being in the military being in the marine corps.
Um, it was almost as if motivation came right after Irritation. So if somebody who was ah had a superior rank or standing to you showed that they were irritated with you. It would give you a sense of urgency to move forward into something so you're programmed to do that over and over and over again and when you're in a a more common Civilian life or in a life. That's. You know we're actually the things we do are very technical and fragile at some levels right? when that's just not appropriate I mean again, it's like break glass in case of emergency Stuff. So I found in myself my own life that that was too easy to access. Um, whether I was dealing with and I coached basketball for years Young men or young women or my own children or or people that were just in my charge or people that I came across just you know during the course of the day it really wasn't getting the response that that you wanted to get. You know it's almost like a quick fix that doesn't fix anything. Right? It's just a simple response that that kind of changes the temperature of the room usually for the negative right? And of course, um, you know you want to find new and flexible ways to do that. But it also is a very good indicator that somebody's scared of something that's the way I see anger.
Okay, all right? So so there's some interesting points here because one is that let's say somebody wasn't even prone anger and then they went into the military. It sounds like they trained you.
That's the way I approach anger.
Into having that response to anger and so you you have this hypnotic trance that was developed with this reinforcement over time that that it it can become a habit right? So with their intent The the intensity of whoever was giving the orders they were sparking fear in the person.
But it might not have been their own baggage that was causing the fear. It was just a behavioral thing that they were using as a technique is that accurate. Yeah.
I would agree a hundred percent yeah
And then we have the people who maybe somebody grew up in a family where there was a lot of anger or they didn't feel free to express themselves and so sometimes it can bubble over like a dam that builds and builds and builds and then it bursts open and so.
So in terms of family of origin or the way that we have dealt with emotion sometimes people might be responding that way as well and it seems normal because you some people might have had that experience as a regular part of life or a way to motivate themselves or a way to protect themselves.
Um I would agree. Um and when you talk about family of origin which is so important and in the way that things are dictated. Um I can imagine that as well in many different circumstances and people pop into my mind that I've worked with closely. Um, and and many different capacities that you can if you go back and and review it You can notice where those things were were um, prominent I Guess where those things ah made sense to other people other people in the moment or they just naturally went into that response and you can actually notice. In those moments you review you can actually change your response to what you would do now in that sense. So It's kind of cool. That's all I Have to say it's kind of Cool. So um, it is though it is. There's a lot of currency in certain areas right in certain families. There's a lot of currency in that kind of negative emotion meaning something special like this means. Extra special because I'm super p Od right? This must be super important and it just those 2 things should just never shake Hands. They should never be acquainted with each other you know.
Yeah, yeah, so you learned how to change that response for yourself. So So give some examples of where that's different for you now where maybe in the past you had this really. In Greater intense response and now you you have another choice.
So I would. So it was easier to not show it and still feel it at first. So I wouldn't outwardly get angry at people overt I wouldn't overtly get angry at people right? and it would be I would build up. But again you know. If you have the regiment that we preach if people take time for themselves and do physical activities very easy to manage emotions when you're physically every day paying attention to yourself